Sleeping with a Married Man - Emotional Toll
Posted: Wednesday, December 16, 2009
by Naiomi Pitre
Imoian Press, LLC
You’re the woman who gets the best of him while he robs his wife of it. He laughs the loudest when he’s with you. He is his most charming, most intelligent, most dashing self. You’re sleeping with a married man, and it seems like you’ve pulled the longest straw in this deal. You seem to be happily using up all of his best qualities at the precise moment that the family he’s left at home wonders where the dad and husband they once knew has gone.
1. Personal Compromise: Almost every mistress will tell you that she never thought she would see herself in this strange position. She’ll tell you that this type of behavior goes against everything she’s ever believed in. When you come to that place inside yourself where you accept that this relationship is going to go further than it should, something clicks. A switch gets thrown that can’t be reset until the relationship has played itself out. There is a definite moment inside each woman who finds herself caught up in her own emotions despite the illicit nature of the affair when she makes a decision, and that decision compromises her own morals and values. The effects of this decision are felt long after the relationship is over.
2. Confusion: Once you’re in the midst of the affair, the overarching emotion that is felt is utter confusion. How did you get to this place? What is this strange power that this man suddenly holds over you? Why did you get into this predicament in the first place? Does he really love you, or is it all about sex and the naughty excitement? Are all of your friends and family right, or is this the man you’ve been looking for all along? The befuddlement that overtakes you is tremendous, and it will cause you to question yourself continuously.
3. Betrayal: Ultimately, the Other Woman will usually end up feeling used and betrayed. Although she may have been promised the moon and the stars, she will most likely end up finding herself face down in the dirt at the end of the relationship. The man of her dreams will become the man of her nightmares when he opts to stay with his family and go against all of the vows he made to his mistress during their heated rendezvous. The divorce she’s been waiting for all along never comes, and she’s left with nothing but a broken heart and shattered dreams.
Too often society finds it easier to judge women who sleep with married menwithout taking any time to consider the emotional turmoil that these women inevitably go through. Some will say that it is self-inflicted and therefore, deserved. That still doesn’t change the fact that the Other Woman suffers deeply when she allows herself to get wrapped up in such a controversial relationship. Read more about what you can do to deal with your emotional pain in "He Loves Me More, Even Though He's Still Married to HER!" to get a better understanding of what to do if you find yourself sleeping with a married man.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Seen your site and liked it.Everyone deserves a love of their own, not to have to share it with another partner.Very true, the solution is to find a love that is single, allthough as I have experienced life is not that simple.
In this place right now questioning myself as he distence's him self from me, I feel like the bad person her but he's just to blame as I am.
Love the advice it's true I feel it!!! Its my boss and he's married I'm at the confused blaming myself phase!!! I'm hoping I get the push to walk away but it's so hard cause it feels so good
In the situation with my ex. He's marrried and we have beenon and off for alittle oover a year. I have tired so many times to ignore his calls, txts, and emails. Thn he tranfered to my school and whn I saw him I just fell all over again, it was like he had something strong hold on me and I just dnt have the strenght to resist him. I even moved to a different city not to far tho and tried ignoring him again but he sweet tlkd his way bck into my life. Whn he leaves I do feel to sad and depressed, scared even because I dnt want to continue this infidelity but he just keeps coming bck into my life. I wish I had the will power to be able to resist...torn
I've caught myself in the same position but when we first started dating he wasn't married he got married while we were still involved, to someone else and I can't seem to let go...
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